The YouTube algorithm has by now, quite clearly identified my interest in songwriting, and as with all these things, constantly suggests things I might like. This week’s selections seem to gravitate towards songwriting challenges, specifically, what can be achieved in thirty minutes. Why, you might ask, would any songwriter ever set themselves such a ridiculously short amount of time to do such a thing?
Procrastination, other than being a big word I had to spellcheck, is the enemy of getting stuff done. All of us have at some point I’ll bet, had to work to a deadline, even if it was only Miss Carbunkle's Geography homework. Was that work the best it could have absolutely been? possibly not, but the deadline did mean you got it finished. Songwriting, like much art, seems pretty open ended, so if you’re one of those people who struggles to finish their songs, this could be an exercise for you in how to try and reign the endless possibilities in a bit. It forces you to make decisions and stick with them. If it teaches you something for next time around, awesome, but that's not going to get in your way of finishing something today.
Ironically, whilst 'potentially' procrastinating about whether this particular blog needed more pictures, I started googling procrastination memes, and I found this...been there, done that...
Finishing songs generally, when you don’t have a self imposed deadline is another discussion, (i.e. how do you decide a song is actually finished). Today I’m going to talk about what happened when I tried this particular exercise about three years ago. How do I know it was three years ago? Because for some reason I uploaded the fairly mortifying result to Soundcloud, where it still lies in wait for the unwary listener.
Inspiration
I don’t know what inspired me to do the actual exercise at the time. I suspect it was one of those flippin’ algorhythms I mentioned earlier, it definitely wasn’t my concept. I do remember though where the inspiration for my song came from. Now the chances are, if you’re a songwriter who has a collection of odd bits of lyric, or an unused chord sequence stashed in a little black book and you’re presented with this challenge, you’re going to delve into it. The chords and the melody I used in my effort certainly have a familiar feel. I don’t remember, but I really don’t think I completely pulled them out of the air in thirty minutes….at least it seems unlikely.
The inspiration for bringing them all together though, begins a fictional three million years in the future on the Jupiter mining ship ‘Red Dwarf’. Kryten has repaired a talking toaster for a science experiment, which Lister had previously destroyed with a lump hammer, for being irritatingly obsessed with grilled bread products. For those unfamiliar with the reference, ‘Red Dwarf’ was a relatively low budget, BBC sci-fi comedy that began to air in the late 1980s, and I’d obviously recently seen a late night repeat. Hence my thirty minute song challenge ‘My Toaster Wants Me Dead’ was born. Although my effort paints the toaster in question as a spiteful entity, rather than the chirpy, chatty breakfast companion of ‘Red Dwarf’, the basis for a lot of the lyrics comes from that episode.
Enough stalling, I think it’s time I let you hear it….
So. Yes, the recording quality is pretty average, it’s probably in the wrong key for my voice, I sound like I might have a cold, it’s under two minutes long and it has no discernible chorus or structure. What did you expect? I did honestly write it AND actually record it in under thirty minutes, it wasn’t going to be Bohemian Rhapsody. I didn’t know anywhere near as much about songwriting then as I do now. I’d rate my level of interest at the time as ‘passing’. I suppose this exercise for me was at the time, a pandemic boredom-buster. So as I listen to it three years on, is there anything I find redeemable about it?
Post Mortem
Well there are some interesting chords I think, although the first line does vaguely sound inspired by of all things, ‘Mama Mia’ by ABBA. I like a song with at least one 'unusual' chord. The lack of repetitive structure also does actually quite appeal to me. Is it a hit with a catchy chorus? hardly! But even at 1:47 long it does show some natural progression, the song feels like it moves along, travels. For the song to have been longer might have made it seem like I was desperately trying to milk the idea, or stretch it into something it wasn’t. I do believe there’s no right or wrong answer to how long a song should be, or how it’s structured, so I’m quite pleased that it simply is what it is, even if it’s a bit tongue in cheek. Consider this a friendly challenge to do better. I’m sure many people could.
JW
If you want to keep going, let's take a step back...
I feel I owe it to anybody who's actually going to take a pop at this to try and help them out a bit. The most popular questions I’ve discovered in songwriting seem to be along the lines of ‘how do I actually do it?’ so you might be thinking this thirty minute stuff is all well and good, but I can’t actually write a song, in ANY amount of time, so, what’s the point? I feel in danger of drifting off into another topic here, so I’m going to make a single suggestion, some of you might be able to utilise. There is no one, right or wrong method to any of this!
A Suggestion
Take the format and style of a classic blues song, look around the room you’re in right now and choose something to write about, perhaps the first thing you see. Blues songs are great because when you’re just getting into this stuff, they’re repetitive, and many of them use the same basic twelve bar formula. The second line is also typically, a repetition of the first, and everybody loves a 2-4-1 deal
So here, for example, is the first verse of the famous blues song, ‘Crossroads’...
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees,
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees,
Asked the Lord above for mercy, take me if you please.
And here now in my living room….
There’s a chair and a table, and a steamin’ cup of tea,
There’s a chair and a table, and a steamin’ cup of tea,
I might have a biscuit too, we’ll just wait and see.
I know it’s not as emotive as selling your soul to the devil for guitar skills, but simple songs about things ordinary people can relate to can be just as effective. Give it a go. It doesn't have to be great, but it might get you closer to where you want to go. It's all process, do the work. Miss Carbunkle might even give you an 'A' for effort, who knows ;-)
By the way. Can anyone smell something burning?!?!
My Toaster Wants Me Dead
Introduction
D / D / D / D
D / D / Daug / Daug
It spits and it sparks, with blackened returns
Bm / Bm / B7 / B7
I’ve checked all the fuses but it never learns
C7 / C7 / G / G
Straying too close is a major concern
C7 / C7 / D7 / D7
A primary target of secondary burns
G / G / B7 / B7
My better half says, it’s all in my head
C / C / G / G
I start to think about maybe some porridge instead
C / C / G / G
With the lure of a crumpet though I’m easily lead
A7 / D7 / G / G7
My toaster wants me dead
C / Cm / G / G7
I’m convinced that the hatred is saved up just for me.
C / Cm / D / D7
Stranger feeds it a bagel, it pops up perfectly.
G / G / B7 / B7
Waffles and flapjacks. Muffins abound.
C / C / Em / Em
The whole smegging kitchen gets burnt to the ground.
C / C / Em / Em
Detectors are screaming in the smoke overhead
C / D / G / Em
My toaster wants me dead
C / D / G (Gb) G
My toaster wants me dead
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