7 Ways To Deal With Performance Nerves.

Unless you’re a very outgoing, confident type, chances are when placed in certain performance circumstances, you’re going to suffer from some degree of nerves. It’s pretty ridiculous when you think about it that the same primal instinct that kept our ancestors safe from sabre tooth tigers is basically the same thing that’s stopping you from public speaking, or playing three songs at an open mic night to twenty strangers.

I am not a natural performer, but I have (mostly) come to terms with the fact that I need to perform in front of people in order to do my job. So I’m going to share some of the things I do and think about, to try and make sure that nerves don’t stop me from playing the gigs I want to play. Some of them you might find helpful, some of them you might feel you have your own spin on or are just plain ridiculous, doesn’t matter, everyone’s different, let’s go for it!

This is me and a lot of people.

So here are my seven things to think about and try… (other than drugs or alcohol) ;-)

#1. Visualise.

I draw confidence from knowing as much as I can about where I’m going and what it’s going to be like. Have a poke around online to see what the venue looks like, what the people look like. Can you see yourself there? I personally draw a lot of confidence from knowing that my bandmates or friends will be there, and that I’m not facing the challenge alone.

Be clear about why you want to do this performance, because it’ll help you focus on what’s important. What do you want the end result to be? Do you want to share a song you wrote? Do you want to get a booking? Do you just want to be less nervous next time around?

#2. Preparation.

There’s a saying, I believe, that goes something like ‘to fail to prepare, is to prepare to fail’, but what does that preparation look like? I’ve mentioned researching the venue… but there are more general things you can control that increase your chances of having a positive experience.

The most important of the preparation strategies is practice. Always practice as close to the situation you’ll find yourself in as you can. If you’re going to stand up and sing with your guitar, don’t practice sitting down with a ukulele. Consider it like a full on dress rehearsal, rather than like sitting on the toilet learning your lines. Other preparation strategies can be things like making sure your instrument works, having spare cables, strings or batteries. If you think about the things that can go wrong, and you can guard against that, that’s one less thing to worry about.

#3. Mindset

I like to think that I’m nervous because I care about what I’m doing, which means my anxiety comes from a positive place. Anxiety and excitement are physiologically the same thing, it just depends what you call it, so being nervous is okay, because you’re excited to do the performance, and you care how it goes.

The worst time is always the five minutes before you play, and the first five minutes into the performance. Just breathe, from the diaphragm. I’m not going to explain the science, but it works. Also, at the risk of sounding like a bit of an idiot, telling yourself out loud that it’s all okay, is far more effective than just thinking it. Maybe it tricks your brain into thinking it’s somebody else's voice who's giving you some encouragement, I dunno. Be aware though, that voicing a thought like ‘What am I doing here, this was a terrible idea, everybody hates me’ is equally more destructive than just thinking it. So if you’re going to recite mantras or talk to yourself, talk to the helpful version of you, not the critic.

Remember nobody’s perfect, and in fact I’ve generally found that most audiences respond positively to the odd shrugged off mistake. Generally speaking, you’re up there doing something most people can’t (or won’t), being human isn’t a problem. Dealing with cockups is part of the game.

#4. Exposure Therapy

The more you do something, the easier it gets, that’s the general wisdom. It is true, but it doesn’t help you get over the first few hurdles if you’re too terrified to jump. This is really where your preparation pays off, but the process is somewhat scalable. If you want to play a gig for example, go and do some open mic nights first. You get to try out your stuff without the added load of setting up all your gear, getting paid, or dealing with the other two dozen things live performers running under their own steam have to deal with on a weekly basis that nobody thinks about. Very few people make the leap from zero to hero without tripping over first, but exposing yourself to the process will enable you to deal with whatever comes next.

#5. Connection

So you’re up there, singing your songs, bearing your very soul and nobody’s paying attention. You might be put off by the lack of appreciation, my advice is, try not to be, and certainly don’t have a go at the audience for their lack of understanding. I do have a caveat regarding that, but it only refers to a level few people reach.

At a Pretenders gig many years ago, Chrissie Hynde stopped the show to have a go at someone near the front who she could see was constantly talking and messaging people on his phone. “Hey, Asshole….you paid 50 bucks to see us play, we’re up here, not down there you motherf…” went the exchange. She can do that, she’s Chrissie Hynde, and the crowd loved her for it, most of us cannot do that at a pub gig, …and survive. Don’t make an enemy of the audience.

On that note, let’s just take a quick musical break to enjoy The Pretenders..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVry7uMud1o

And we’re back…

What we can all do is mimic the other thing she did, which was relay a very quick and hilarious story about a band that she once supported called “Death By Cleavage”... I don’t think I can get away with telling you exactly what she said here, but the point is if you can make a positive connection with the audience in any way in addition to your music, it’s worth doing, but it has to be natural… conversational. Don’t stand there and attempt to tell jokes unless you’re prepared for no-one to laugh. If they relax, you relax, and everything’s peachy.

If nobody’s paying attention, don’t worry. My overriding experience is that people will either engage with you positively or ignore you. Remember their primary reason for being there might not be to listen to the music, or your specific set. It doesn’t necessarily reflect on you, don’t assume it does.

Even if you’re doing the performance for fun, always imagine it’s your job, that you’re going to get on and do to the best of your ability regardless. How lucky you are that your job is playing music!

#6. Confidence.

If you’ve prepared properly, practicised, and the venue is right for you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be confident. I’m not saying you have to be cocky, although a lot of people adopt that as a kind of stage persona, but being, or at least appearing confident is pretty important. People will be sympathetic if it’s your first performance, but it’s leeway that’s pretty short lived. I know it sounds corny, but ‘fake it, ‘til you make it’ if you have to. An ‘on stage’ character, an exaggerated, bolder version of you can be just the ticket.

Also, if you’re doing something like an open mic night, don’t be put off by being asked to follow acts you consider better than you. They may be technically better, but unless you’re going to try to do exactly what they just did, it’s not a real comparison. You’re a different person singing different songs, it’s apples and oranges, and as I think I may have said before, music is not a contest, despite many people’s best efforts to make it so.

#7. Be The Judge.

If you go googling any of this, one thing you will find that comes up often is that the only person whose opinion matters is yours. In the purest sense that’s true, but realistically other people’s opinions do matter, and if you tell them they don’t, you don’t get very far.

If you write, record or perform music and are completely unencumbered by any measurable consideration, that’s brilliant… art in its purest most ideal form. If however you want to work with other people successfully, get repeat bookings, sell records, attract followers, any of that, other people’s opinions do matter. What these kind of comments really mean is that your opinion should matter the most. If you did something wrong, own it and learn from it, next time will be better!

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Nobody wants to be a nervous performer, but if you’ve done the work and done your best to control all those niggling doubts, there’s no reason to be worried. It doesn’t automatically spell success obviously, but you will survive, and live to fight another day.